TRAILER TANTRUM-Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Let's break this down, scene by scene.
First we hear an ominous voice over telling us that something has awoken over a shot of a desert (Which for the moment, we are assuming to be Tatooine.) and he asked us if we have felt it.
My first instinct is to say yes, just so that voice can leave me alone.
Then we see John Boyega pop into frame, wearing a Stormtrooper costume and looking like he just saw the thing that just woke up.
The costume begs two questions.
One: is the Empire still a going concern or do they just exist in small pockets like Chechen Separatists?
Two: Because he does not look like Jango Fett, may we assume that they have run out of clones and are now actively recruiting new Stormtroopers? (If so, it better be a generous sign up package because seriously, have you seen what a lightsaber does to a guy's arm? Seriously?)
(Also if you're first question was "Why is that Stormtrooper black?" please move along. We have nothing for you here.)

Next we see a little Astro droid traveling on what appears to be a ball of some kind. This means that either R2D2 was in some sort of horrifying accident or this is a product of an offscreen one night stand between him and Wilson from "Castaway".
Either way, I hope it gets it's own musical number.

Next, a bunch of quick shots of stormtroopers getting ready to disembark a shuttle and preparing to fuck some shit up. Again begging the question, who's still funding them at this point? Because frankly, after you've had your ass kicked by a bunch of Ewokes, nobody is signing on just for the shits and giggles.

Then we see Daisy Ridley riding on an insanely boxy looking speeder, (Complete with awesome Ben Burtt designed revving sound.) looking all the would like Natalie Portman. Which, for the moment, I'm assuming is not just a happy accident.

Then we see Oscar Isaac in the cockpit of an X-Wing followed by a shot of three of them, skimming a lake in formation. And ye Gods, that one shot looks more awesome then the plasticine looking shots from all of the prequels.

Then voice over guy returns just as we see a hooded figure in a snowy forest fire up THE COOLEST LIGHTSABER EVER!!!!
Seriously, I have no snark here, that was just plain awesome!

And then the last shot is the MILLENNIUM  FUCKING FALCON zooming through the frame as the fanfare comes up and proceeds to run into two TIE fighters!
At which point I...
a) Say, "I'm in".

b) Come like a teenager watching "Arobercise" for the first time.

I am tempering my excitement over the awesomeness of this trailer with the knowledge that all of the prequels had awesome trailers.
On the plus side, JJ Abrams has made four movies, three I've seen and two live liked. So he's got a pretty good batting average. (The minus is the one I disliked was "Star Trek: Into Darkness". And that may be the one that stylistically closest to SW.)
The other plus is that Lawrence Kasdan is back at the word processor for this one and that's always for the good.
So, put me in the excited column for this one.  I'm ready to see a good STAR WARS picture again.

Posted on November 29, 2014 and filed under Movies.